[attr="class","nodenscharright2"]

t/w: child abuse, prostitution

[break][break]
It’s hard to see the light of day when the men around you are casting shadows greater than yourself. This isn’t jealousy, or bitterness, but a fact. It’s an uphill battle carrying the weight of your past to that bright future of your dreams. Where most cower, fall to their knees and give up, I will not fail. Failure is worse than death. My father taught me so early in my childhood years.
[break][break]
The House of Laurus was once a beacon of pride among the nobility, brandishing the bright, ardent flames of their magic for the good of the kingdom. But the sun set down on the era of my ancestors as the dawn of the Revolution lit the ambers of the oppressed. In an instant, our light was snuffed out. My father tells me that for all that they had done, his grandfather, and the family before them were imprisoned, or worse, killed.
[break][break]
I could tell my father’s history lessons were somewhat biased, but he refused to send me to any other education until he laid out the foundations for his revenge. Chronologically, my father was very, very young when this happened. Yet, his recounts were as vivid as the madness in eyes. The fuel of his retellings were taken from someone else. Combine that with a grave injury that put him out of commission, and you get a bitter, cynical old man.
[break][break]
Nevertheless, his accomplishments were nothing but commendable and I tasted my consistent streak of defeats in the hands of this worn-out veteran. Sometimes, I think he’d lash out at me simply for the sake of boredom. Other times, he said I deserved it. But my scars will tell that part of the story.
[break][break]
Father rarely mentioned anything about my mother, or who she was. All I ever got to understand was that he had had a “good time”. At the age of 10, the words never made much sense to me until I got old enough to understand that my father is a bastard. Unfortunately, he taught me everything I know.
[break][break]
Finally, when he ran out of “wisdom” to impart, he decided to send me away to the Academy of Eos in Altair where I would finally get a real education, and not some survival crash course. My father, in spite of the great magic he boasted, never taught me magic. So I had to secretly sneak out and experiment with whatever I could.
[break][break]
Mind you, the element of fire is a power to be trifled at your own risk. It is a power of life and death, as is all things on this world. It knows no loyalties but to its own kin. Fire will not burn fire. It will only make it stronger. But it will devour the weaker embers to fuel itself. The teachers at the Academy were both impressed and fearful of my prowess. They said I overflowed with ambition but lacked control. They blamed my father, and I did not object.
He would been proud and angry that I rose through the levels at the Academy quickly. Proud, that I’d shown these sissies how magic was to be properly handled, and angry that I’d excelled in theory as much as application. Father never believed in education you see, and preferred to live and learn through experiences.
[break][break]
I graduated top of my class. It wasn’t such a big deal for me. He didn’t come visit me nor wrote any letters or made an effort to contact me at all. There were plenty of me— I mean, fish. As the saying goes, there were plenty of fish in the sea. Not many knew I had slept with nearly half the boys in the school. But I was fooling around with them.
[break][break]
The only man I want in my life is a certain rugged white giant. If Father knew I had enlisted as squire solely in pursuit of flesh, mine would be burnt off my bones, and the ashes scattered all over Eos. But I admire men like him, perhaps because he’s everything my Father is not.
[break][break]
I am not well liked by my peers, and the ones that do, I sleep with them. Not because I like them, but because it ends up that way. It makes my life just a little more bearable. In spite of my infamy within the knights, my focus and my goal never fall out of sight. Some may hate me, and others become jealous, but I have no time for them.
[break][break]
My promotion to Captain came to me as no surprise either. I didn’t have time to dwell in the small victories. If I wanted to show the man of my dreams I could stand beside him, I’d have to achieve more than just Captain. Then perhaps I could get him to follow my commands.